Murder, My Sweet (It's all about pretending like you meant to do it all along...)

Kate kindly agreed to let me try and turn her into a Goth one evening, during an urgent Goth photo deadline, my original model having just canceled (yes, there are Goth photo deadlines. From time to time. Like Blue Moons. In fact the two are probably linked...) But try as we would Goth just refused to sulk it's way accross Kate's face and that was fine with us because what we ended up with was SO MUCH BETTER (not that I don't love Goths, who in fairness are - probably, when no one is looking - not always sulky. And even if they are they do a very good line in black and it's various seductive trappings) because the result was a FILM NOIR FEMME FETALE.

Like having a tiny, real life Lauren Bacall being photographed in my room. Plus with the long tumbling hair of Veronica Lake. Only dyed black. And messed up... (in a sort of wistfully aspiring to Goth way? It's fine, blurring different looks together is what it's AAAAALLLLLLL about. Or so I'm sure I've been told. Or read somewhere...)

Anyway, as this Film Noir thing happened somewhat unexpectedly, none of those wonderful 40s clothes can be seen, but DON'T WORRY, here are the originals - worn by the originals...




Yes I know there are many, many other film noir stars (nearly all of them with excellent wardrobes) but I don't care, Bogart and Bacall beat the lot of them. If you don't believe me, go watch this and learn how to whistle...

Meanwhile here - for your delight and entertainment - are the sorts of things that people say to one another in Film Noirs and don't say often enough in Real Life:

Cop to Skip McCoy: "You'll always be a two-bit cannon. And when they pick you up in the gutter dead, you're hand'll be in a drunk's pocket." - Pickup On South Street

Georgia Lorrison (Lana Turner): "Jonathan, will you marry me?"
Jonathan Shields (Kirk Douglas): "Not even a little bit." - The Bad And The Beautiful

Mike Hammer (Ralph Meeker): "You're never around when I need you."
Velda (Maxine Cooper): "You never need me when I'm around." - Kiss Me Deadly

'Chiquita'to Halliday: "What I like about you is you’re rock bottom. I wouldn’t expect you to understand this, but it’s a great comfort for a girl to know she could not possibly sink any lower."- The Big Steal

Rigby Reardon: "Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble T-R-U-B-I-L, and if you try to correct them, they kill you." - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

This last title being a useful thing to remember when you next find yourself in the middle of a zombie or vampire infestation and you need to know who's who. Just stick with the guy in the kilt...